KINDERGARTEN-START NOW OR WAIT A YEAR?
Written 8/2005; Revised 10/06 & 1/07
This letter is about one of the most important decisions that you can make for your child—whether to start him or her in Kindergarten or wait a year until he or she will be more interested in learning the curriculum (there is a definite K curriculum) and is more socially mature. You can even begin to think about this decision while your still expecting your little bundle of joy! If your baby is born in winter or spring, it’s possible that he or she can start school in 5 years. If your baby is born in summer or fall, it’s probable that it will be best for him or her and the family to wait an extra year to start K. Now understand please that this has no bearing on the season in which the baby is born, it’s how old your little possible student will be when he or she may start Kindergarten. Your state does not say that a child has to start school at that age, but that he or she is of the legal age to start school. The earlier in the year a child is born, the older he or she will be when school starts. For example, a child born in April would be seven months older than a child born in November if they both start school together. Those months make a remarkable difference of physical and emotional maturity in a four or five year old. Plus, those other children in his or her grade will continue to have that developmental advantage each and every year of school. Other things to consider are:
--Has your son or daughter benefited from an older sister or brother? Sometimes a child has a better vocabulary and is more familiar with letters and numbers from the fulltime companionship of an older sibling.
--Is your child showing definite attraction to words on the pages when you read to him or her? This should come from within the child, not from you pointing out the words, remarking about them and asking questions about them (teaching).
--Is your youngster calm, logical and socially mature for his or her age? Does he or she listen to directions, look at the person speaking and respond correctly? Can he or she carry out two to three directions at a time? Does he or she take different situations in stride without frustration or agitation? How well does he or she handle frustration? Has he or she attended preschool? Did that preschool have simple alphabet and letter sound lessons? Was your child interested in those lessons and did he or she master them? What does the preschool teacher suggest concerning your child’s K readiness?
You may think that if your child starts school, you will help him or her with the work and he or she will “catch on” and succeed. This seems logical but it usually doesn’t work out as you would expect. Youngsters can be extremely resistant to parental teaching. Often a parent “teaches” in a different way than the school, and for the child who is confused and overwhelmed to begin with, this can compound the problem. The child does not absorb the early lessons and falls farther and farther behind as the school days pass. The youngster often develops a negative feeling toward school and confidence falls. Remedial help is offered in schools where children who fall behind are given review in small group situations. Review and re-teaching can be offered in the child’s classroom, in another room or before or after school. Summer school for approximately two hours a day for six weeks may be offered to continue reviewing and prevent summer loss of skills and perhaps make gains.
If you make the decision to give your child another year before starting school, also realize that you have given your child an advantage for every school year and many life situations and life decisions. You will have given him or her another year with family “in the nest” before college or employment or the Service, as well. Those are all excellent advantages in the life of a child and young adult.
Deciding to give a child the gift of another year to mature is not “holding a child back” or suggesting that you feel he or she is “slow.” It means simply that you have considered many aspects of your child and made a decision that will put him or her on a smoother life path. It definitely is not something to discuss with your child. The discussions must be with trusted professionals including your child’s pediatrician.
Over my years as a teacher, my heart has “gone out” to the younger children in a classroom. I have seen children overwhelmed by the expectations of school. Some children cope with their difficulties well; I assume that they might simply believe that this is how school is for everyone or they just accept their situation and contentedly move through school with remedial or social service assistance. Others do not cope so well. Some do not want to come to school or notice that they are behind and feel unhappy or nervous. Some see that others know answers and question why. Some really do not care about knowing the answers because the letters and letter sounds seem pointless and unattainable. Some of the children who feel this way become troublemakers and discipline problems. They have not felt the consistent rewards of associating the letters with sounds and pictures nor felt the thrill of recognizing a word when others in their class do. A child has to be at the stage of maturity to be able to absorb these bits if information. Without the thrill—the “Oh, I get it!”—Then all those little lessons about letters and their sounds and the words, just become annoying bits of information that have no real coherent meaning. With remedial help these children learn to read, but later than their classmates. Each day these children read better, but at a slower pace than their classmates. These students benefit from interesting and delightful lower level reading books. Even though they slowly improve, their science and social studies and even the math word problems are written at grade level and they are not reading at grade level. It is nerve-racking for a child such as this to be included in classroom lessons because they read slower and, because the reading itself is so labor intensive, they often do not get the full meaning from what they have read. They have worked so hard figuring out the letter sounds and put so much effort into reading the words that their mind has not been able to concentrate on under-standing what they have read. Reading is harder for them and it is tiring.
It is very difficult for me to read what I have written above since my career was remedial teaching. It took me years to truly see the big picture as I was working with children. I had a fulfilling and wonderful career helping children learn their letters and letter sounds. We read great books, we practiced writing and rewrote to improve it, we illustrated our work and hung it in the hall for others to admire, we worked hard, and our work improved.
If you are unsure if your child is ready for school, ask his or her pre-school teacher and your pediatrician. There is a screening process most schools administer when children are signed up for Kindergarten. The information that is shared with you can be very helpful if you have an open mind to accept it. If it is suggested that it would be best for your child to have another year to mature before being put on the educational treadmill, absorb the information calmly and consider it. Your child will accept it as well as the family does. He or she must not be part of the conversations that take place about the recommendation. In no way has your child or you been a “failure”. He or she is just too young. Hopefully the family will be able to embrace the advice and another happy year will pass before Kindergarten. It may or may not be advisable for your child to attend the same pre-school and go through the same curriculum again.
Speak with the pre-schoolteacher about that question and decide together whether you should find another pre-school in your school district where your child will meet another teacher and continue to learn and mature among new children with whom he or she will happily enter school the following year.
**Please, keep in mind that the above are opinions from a grandmother. Please consider them carefully, seek your own family members’ opinions and those of professionals in your life such as your pediatrician and school professionals.
Your own Grandma would probably want you to feel free to use, copy, print or share any or all information from her letters. So does Letters from Grandma.com. Grandma reminds you to give credit to Letters from Grandma.com so others will know where to go for Grandmotherly opinions. When you print, note that you can save paper by highlighting and “selecting” just what you want to print, you can use the back side of previously used computer paper and you can change the font size and print 4 pages on one sheet of paper—if you can read it—Grandma can’t.)